by
Alan Simpson, MA
“One of the first steps leaders can
take to develop a safe environment in the
midst of change is to recognize the value
that conflict holds for them.” Rendle,
G. R
The
tendency towards forced termination of
church leaders is epidemic in North American.
Ken Sande (2003) declared that all the reasons
for forced exits can be summarized in one
word: conflict. “When a pastor is forced
out of ministry, it is usually because he
has been unsuccessful at resolving differences
with other people in his church”. A
survey by Christianity Today (La Rue, 1996)
states that 45 percent of ousted pastors
think they could have done more to avoid
it. Resolving conflict was the primary action
they wished they had taken sooner. They also
stated that conflict management was the area
of training most lacking in their seminary
or Bible college education.
It seems to me that we do not respond
to conflict very well in the church.
Several
years ago, I sat on the sundeck facing
a distraught friend and fellow pastor.
He was
a casualty of mismanaged congregational
conflict that resulted in a forced
termination. His
story illustrated to me the fact that churches
and their leaders often avoid handling
conflict until its too late. When
we do handle congregational
conflict it often results in removing the
opposition from the church. Others choose
to leave one congregation for another down
the road only to find that the same problem
exist in the new congregation. It followed
us. It is us. I have come to believe that
if we want to see a reduction in mismanaged
congregational conflict we must change
the way the local church understands
and responds
to conflict.
In addressing the issue of conflict in
the local church I recommend two excellent
resources:
Ken Sande (The Peacemaker) and Jim Van
Yperen, Making Peace. At the same time
having good
resources does not guarantee that we
will use them. So what needs to change
in order
for us to take full advantage of the
available material on biblical conflict
resolution?
I offer three suggestions for your consideration.
A
change in thinking: In the seminars
I teach, the first thing we do is ‘think’ about
the word ‘conflict’. I am convinced
that unless we change the way we think about
conflict we will not change the way we behave
in conflict. The majority of the participants
think of ‘conflict’ only in negative
terms: stress, anger, frustration, hurt.
This is usually based on past destructive
outcomes of conflict. Restricting conflict
to the realm of negativity does not provide
a great platform for dialogue on the benefits
of conflict. To a large extent the church
believes conflict is a result of the fall.
However, conflict existed before the fall
(between the serpent and Eve in Gen 3:1)
and before creation (in Lucifer’s fall).
Somehow in God’s sovereign plan ‘conflict’ serves
a greater cause.
There is a positive side to conflict.
It can produce growth, strength,
positive change, or new ideas. An
example of
this is the creation
of new ministries in Acts 6. The
Apostle James states that it is through
trials
of many kinds that perseverance and
maturity are developed (1:2-4). Conflict
can create
an opportunity for growing up in
our understanding
and application of living as a Christian.
If we changed our thinking and embraced
conflict as God’s mechanism for forming Christ
in us could that change the way the church
manages conflict? I think so. The difference
between the potential for negative or positive
outcomes in conflict is found in our responses
to it. In every conflict situation we have
the freedom to choose how we will behave.
A
change in behaviour: According
to most conflict management resources
there are
five ways to respond to conflict:
avoid,
compete,
collaborate, compromise and accommodate.
The argument is made that in
order to improve the way we behave
in
conflict we must identify
our predominant style, learn
the other styles, and then apply
the
appropriate
styles to
any given conflict. Conflict
outcomes become negative when we
consistently
default to
only one style. For instance,
if we always
avoid conflict we may never learn
how to be assertive in a positive
and healthy
manner.
It is an interesting exercise
to ask the question “What style did Jesus use
when he faced conflict?” In the seminars,
participants come up with stories in the
life of Jesus that indicate he seemed to
use all the styles. The difference between
his behaviour and ours is that he responded
according to what he heard from the Father.
We often react to conflict and later go to
God for reason why our reactions caused more
destructive conflict. However, our behaviour
can change if we take the time to think and
choose a different behaviour instead of our
yielding to our default patterns. There are
biblical principles for responding to conflict
but that is for another article.
A
change in relationships: If
we will rethink our view of
conflict and if
we will determine
to behave biblically in conflict
then will we see a change in
the
way relationships
are managed during church conflicts?
I
believe we will. However, it
is up to us as individuals
to take responsibility for
how we manage relationships during
conflict
in the
church. “If
it is possible, as far as it depends on you,
live at peace with everyone.” (Romans
12:18-19)
The church, more than any community
on earth, has the greatest
resources to
manage conflict
in a healthy manner. Jesus
Christ has given us the message,
the
means and
the method
for reconciliation. I believe
that if we will view conflict
differently,
behave
in conflict biblically, and
manage relationships responsibly
then
we will reduce mismanaged
conflict in the church. This
article by Alan Simpson (BTh., MA) was
published in Outreach Canada’s
Transitions Newsletter April 2005
Sande, K. (2003). Strike the Shepherd. Retrieved
October 9, 2002 from: http://www.hispeace.org/html/artic50.htm
Rendle, G. R. (2001, 3rd ed.). Leading Change
in the Congregation: Spiritual and Organizational
Tools for Leaders. Alban Institute.
La Rue, J. (1996), Forced Exits: High-Risk
Churches Retrieved August 8th, 2003, from:
http://www.christianitytoday.com/cbg/features/report/6y3072.html
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